I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize