im drinking this country out of the recession.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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