Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize