I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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