I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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