planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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