You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize