don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You ruined the universe
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