why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize