I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize