Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.

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  (313): Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical. http://tfl.nu/9qp0
  Replies (2) Good night (698) Bad night (962) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"

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  (313): Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!! (1-313): "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore" http://tfl.nu/6kn3
  Replies (20) Good night (547) Bad night (1368) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that

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  (949): even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that http://tfl.nu/ftma
  Replies (29) Good night (510) Bad night (4347) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.

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  (530): As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before. http://tfl.nu/b7oy
  Replies (22) Good night (13983) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero

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  (661): the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero http://tfl.nu/o327
  Replies (6) Good night (2914) Bad night (740) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?

  (818): View more from California

  I hate you.

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  (661): So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night? (818): I hate you. http://tfl.nu/ps95
  Replies (9) Good night (4934) Bad night (843)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?

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  (250): Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night? http://tfl.nu/nxqa
  Replies (7) Good night (3335) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon

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  (+44): He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon http://tfl.nu/s25m
  Replies (5) Good night (4523) Bad night (999) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....

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  (770): his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me.... http://tfl.nu/rsl7
  Replies (32) Good night (1350) Bad night (3112) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.

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  (661): I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore. http://tfl.nu/4rua
  Replies (7) Good night (747) Bad night (953) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  how did we start talking about space blow jobs?

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  (949): how did we start talking about space blow jobs? http://tfl.nu/0fha
  Replies (14) Good night (1553) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?

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  (802): He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been? http://tfl.nu/bs5q
  Replies (4) Good night (1252) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it

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  (765): This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it http://tfl.nu/dka3
  Replies (7) Good night (420) Bad night (829) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.

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  (605): I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits. http://tfl.nu/1m96
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Whats your number? 5 or more?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.

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  (512): Whats your number? 5 or more? (973): Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/b76i
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (579)

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