wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Randomize