My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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