You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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