You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize