Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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