We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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