We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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