i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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