This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
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Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize