all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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