The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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