What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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