Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
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I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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