How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize