WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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