Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
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If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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