My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize