update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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