I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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