she was so not down for the gang bang
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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