I didn't shave. On purpose
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize