Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize