I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize