Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"

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(440): The ticket read "Found nude in a tree" http://tfl.nu/6rf6

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(650): View more from California

apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again

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(650): apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again http://tfl.nu/fi23

Replies (23) Good night (1260) Bad night (3616)
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(516): View more from New York

He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.

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(516): He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room. http://tfl.nu/sh2m

Replies (20) Good night (685) Bad night (3009)
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(806): View more from Texas

Jesus knows you're telling a lie.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup

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(806): Jesus knows you're telling a lie. (832): Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup http://tfl.nu/yiz0

Replies (6) Good night (4656) Bad night (619)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.

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(208): Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation. http://tfl.nu/cfqm

Replies (20) Good night (3935) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.

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(317): I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account. http://tfl.nu/ui6k

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(210): View more from Texas

The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.

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(210): The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him. http://tfl.nu/79ut

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(916): View more from California

So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.

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(916): So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones. http://tfl.nu/pw89

Replies (9) Good night (2200) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
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(661): View more from California

I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.

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(661): I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now. http://tfl.nu/5tlj

Replies (2) Good night (1263) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Lube is flammable

(404): View more from Georgia

Who is this??

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(502): Lube is flammable (404): Who is this?? http://tfl.nu/y4u7

Replies (18) Good night (3596) Bad night (550)
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(707): View more from California

Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...

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(707): Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost... http://tfl.nu/dlrx

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down

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(860): You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down http://tfl.nu/2dmo

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?

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(717): do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met? http://tfl.nu/fj36

Replies (7) Good night (989) Bad night (418)
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(734): View more from Michigan

It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back

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(734): It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back http://tfl.nu/xmyb

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(951): View more from California

Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.

(1-951): View more from California

Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.

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(951): Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck. (1-951): Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician. http://tfl.nu/esvj

Replies (10) Good night (1249) Bad night (326)

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