It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize