I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize