You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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