I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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