he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize