Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize