I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
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he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
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I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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