i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize