Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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