i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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