Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize