3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize