Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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