I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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