In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize